Wednesday, August 19, 2009


BLOG-OFF!!!!1: FIPS [Ewrecka to AWOL Benjifips to powpawpro! to da (mi/o)nions of misinformed] VS. DDB [A('x)lpha to Om(y GAWD!)ega, k(10)ids]
Posted By: Da UN's Council on Blogospheric Conditions | WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 19, 2009 AT 4:20pm

You know that DDB is not one (#1 though? y(e/i)s, you know DAT (#)2 be d(db)a troof) to pick a fight. But chickens be cluckin, the winds be whisperin', the fiery furnaces of fiesty fanatical felines flaming fantastic forays into frothin' frightful fightin flamingos!!! dat's RIGHT. we be LEFT (LOL~) (n/)o(/ne) choice. WHUP SUM FIPS BUTT (i.e.wreck(n' effect) shop on Ewreck, put down da Benji (not dat he needs DDBees help fo DAT, seemeth it! where you at?!), and give da ol' DDB kaPOW (boom bap!) to Pyropaw)

As thou may've noticed (cf. 3 words ago + "gh"), DDB is not about knockin' down tha little guys, right ChickenUnderpants?!, 'xcept peradventcher when dey drive you into da sprinkle-encrusted sweaty palms of Dunkin' Dees, but fo' reals, dun be fool'd, FIPS ain't no lil' or little guy. It myte seam(less segway(off in coher(inse dem dirty undies, Bunjiesf(l)ip(pperdigibbet))) too easy (TOO EAZY-E!) to knock a syte of such verbal (e)wre(should be)ckage(d) as dese gems:

"...but Woodstock was memorable & really brought people together, so to celebrate the anniversary, in this week’s Block-Off!, we’ll be bringing together the remaining businesses we haven’t covered on 5th, 6th 7th & 8th and pitting those on the odd avenues against those on the even avenues. " ~YAWN!!! where be da punchuation?! da hot FIAH?!!~


"To top it off, this week we’ll be ignoring all the apartment buildings & empty storefronts & extraneous crap to give you nothing but the straight, unfiltered Block-Off! poop..." ~ummers, is dat supposed to be a good thang?! i mean 'is name (no "'")is poopoopro, but fo' reals?!1234~

but less jus (de pomme, de POOM! punked ya bfips) look at tha openin's:

"Thug life, yo!" (LOL) n' "Last week, we totally sucked." (da most tru ting eva udder(ewreck's?)ed by FIPSydoodles) n' "Doooooooods. [sic(k)] I almost spaced on writing the Block-Off! this week. It was late Monday night & I was sitting around the apartment celebrating the day [i.e. readin' DDB], just having finished up the first five episodes of Party Down!" ({tittering/}party at partypropawz!!{/tittering}) n' "Wow. So this week marks the 23rd edition of the Block-Off! Yes, it is very Jordan of me." ~yis, jordan in da sense of doin' mad (chicken)UNDYPANTS ads, yo! SNAP!~
but lez get back to scorin' sum categorys so we be sure not to loose them FIPSY "dear readers" (oh me / oh my da Victorian gentility of FIPS!) who might lapse off into sum baby kickin', puppy blood drinkin', and preggers woman punchin'...

Literary prowess:
it's not a coincidence dat DDB readers report readin' dis here blog wit a fine bottle ah' bubbly (not a bottle ah Mr. Bubbles, which rumor has it bfips downed too many uv!) on 'count of tha magnificat [sic!] strains of mellifuousity emittanced. wordplayers to the highest (calm down, puffpuffpawpro!) (a/de)gree(?/!!!!1), such riches dat make FIPS lil' toes-tips into da grammatically cle(a)ver like sum clod-hoppin' clog-humpin' sack o' potatoes(-tips into da grammat...). Mebbe we should(er to cry awn when readin' da block-(TURN IT)offs!)n't 'spect mo' from a site cawfulled FIPS, or mebbe DDB underestimate its own litterhairy (con/per)fectioning? W the case mebbe, the populi have vox'd. Advantage: DDB.

NOT Prostitutin' Blogtegrity:
DDB followers, numberin' in the handfuls!!, know DAT DDB has made a point of honorin' its commitment to journihilistic DISpassion. Refusin' bribes. the cHARMS of smARM(??)y octopus-tongued sweet tawkers, da pub(il)lici( behavior)[t]y ov ova blogs tryin' to interview us. DDS don't STOOP (nuttin' pers', pp) to lower R standherds, whereas ya can't turn a page, click a link without seein' anova ref to FIPS, to Ewreck, to that mangy critter / mascot posin'. You betta (believe it!) come correct, FIPS, and get some sef-'spect. Advantage: DDB.

Overall (s, you know Bfips be wearing 'em!!) Satisfaction!
shore, mAB you lose yer iPod stranglin' pups in the PP dog pool, and FIPS posts an ad helpin' ya sorry @$$ out. den again, mebbe yer some nice person mindin' yer own busyness, and FIPS RIPS (TM on dat phrase, Ewreck!!) ya'h new un (burkee be PISSED, yo! we gots ya back, son. DDB roll deep(fry(lock))). Never can tell in da manic-depressive world of Flagellated in Posterior Spankin'. But wit DDB you know whut you git. The best. PERIOD. Language to make ya look up at the stars and lick them in grate-he(he)tood. To (banana) peel back tha covhers on tha missedhereyes of inter/intra-personal dinehammocks. To (milk)shake tha mome-meant when mean-hing(/es on da slheight-heist (un)intentional follies). & to rejoice in da face ofital. Advent(callhendear)age(d win(e/os): DDB.

dee dee bee
d to the d to the b
delish dish broken land
dat best food blog dis side ah d'atlantic (ave)

Rest In Park Slope
Rest in Peace (OUT), SUCKAS!


  1. OH, GAWD.

    DAT, you ~b~ charmin and smarmin and disarmin wit (yep! dat wit ~b~long tuh DAT and DIS both, son!!) duh (/obvs!!) BEST o'duh (/south//north)west!!

    Aaaaaand... bfips + Mr. Bubbs??!?!? Oh, DAT--I coun'a sedit(/ive???) betts meselvies!!

    *ChickenUndieparts--where you ~b~, likekind?? Sho' sum dat follerer LUV, kid!!

    ewreckin in duh bwre(/oo)ck(/l)in,
    d den d den BBBBBBBBBBBBBB

  2. Normally I don't understand about 50% of ddb. This particular post was much closer to 80% over my head. Well played, ddb. Well played.